So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
