Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize