and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
