ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
