THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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