I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
