my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
