He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We are two peas in an std pod
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
