Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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