My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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