I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
