I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
