sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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