I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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