I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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