you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
