I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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