quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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