it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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