So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
