so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I touched a dick in church today
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
