hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
