I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I didn't notice because vodka
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
