Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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