high people should be assigned attendants
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Can I color on your dick again?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
