once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
