Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
