Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
