well most of my day revolves around power hour
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
