my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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