the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
