Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
