Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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