I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
