HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
