I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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