You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
