There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
