don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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