I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
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