I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
