His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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