Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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