That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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