Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
do herpes really smell.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
