PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just high enough for therapy.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
