it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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