He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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