I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
