If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
