Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
