if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
