Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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