I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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