That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
