Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
