Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
